We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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