turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
