grandma shit on top of the toilet
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
