Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
