I didn't shave. On purpose
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I enjoy the company of your penis
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
