i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
