i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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