I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
