he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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