dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
