Please, let me fuck your mom
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
