have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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