all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
