if you like me you must not know who I am
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
