So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
