im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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