similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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