I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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