it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You're like the curious george of whores
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
