I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
