Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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