So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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