Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
