How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
