LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
