Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
