you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize