Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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