Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
