just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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