My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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