Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
