I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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