i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
