So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
