she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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