Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
