I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
