I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All I want is dick and wine.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize