my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
