Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
