I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I need moral support for this bender
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
