Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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