dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
