oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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