I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
