so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
