My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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