I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
