why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize