whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
