I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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