Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
