Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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