He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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