Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
