Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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