i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
