I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
