Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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