Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
