Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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