my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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