Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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