plz talk dirty to me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
