I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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