Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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