You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
