I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
