actually, I'm a sock model
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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