i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
