quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
