Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
