He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
