I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
